it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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