Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
