Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
