Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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