Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
