So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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