let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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