you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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