just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
