if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize