Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
