I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
