I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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