this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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