You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
