just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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