I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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