So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you never un-have a 4some
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
