Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
