party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
