i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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