You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
