I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
