I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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