I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
