i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
