Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm both gender and math confused
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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