She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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