Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Drunk is a universal language darling
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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