Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
