YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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