dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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