fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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