when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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