NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
