I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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