Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He passed out mid-signature
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
