First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just high enough for therapy.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
