hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
im holly from the hills drunk
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I want to fling myself into the sun
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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