White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
