evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
