I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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