I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Do vagina's smell?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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