It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
