walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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