i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
