Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
