i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
