Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
