she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Found the puke drawer
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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