We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
